After eight years of being on antidepressants, it is decidedly tricky business coming off them alone. I’m not quite collapsed in a heap on the floor, but feel that may be where I am headed unless I go to see a counsellor or psychologist soon. I do not think it is so much that I [...]

Further to my last post, I wanted to share something of my experience flying back from Hobart to Melbourne during my psychosis in Tasmania. Apparently this is fairly common in people suffering delusions, that they have ideas about being the next ’saviour’ or something along those lines. I had decided I was Jesus Christ reincarnated [...]

During my second psychosis in Tasmania, 2007, I was living in a divided house with a small bungalow out the back in which a friend lived. About a year following the episode, I interviewed her to find out what my psychosis appeared like to an outside observer. Following is the transcript.
Me: You saw a lot [...]

A friend asked me, “Who are you thanking?” (ie. in the title of this blog). My response was that I was thanking society, for labelling me as mentally ill. I thank society for the psychiatric diagnosis. That nebulous, intangible beast we call “society” is responsible for my psychosis. So, thank you society.
It’s also a bit [...]

Maybe my attitude is changing… Maybe. I used to feel strongly about avoiding marijuana, especially when a diagnosis of mental illness has been applied, particularly of the schizo-variety. Now I am not sure. As a once good friend said to me, “everything in moderation” and as long as I am controlling it and not the [...]

I’m mildly stoned again, again. This is starting to turn out to be a boring story. I’m alone in the house. Unemployed. Contemplating what to do next… With my life.
I try to think of who I can contact to chat with but am limited by the fact that I am not-quite-myself and not sure I [...]

I am sitting here writing this post in an altered state of mind – that of THC intoxication, otherwise known as “being stoned”. I feel like I am slowed down and an observer in my body as it moves and acts according to my desires. At this point, my desire is to write something about [...]

One of the more bizarre elements of my bouts with illness has been the occurrence of hallucinations. Most commonly I have heard conversations that are supposedly taking place in another room, where perhaps there were no people or where the people in the next room were not talking at all.
I remember once, whilst in the [...]

This is what marijuana does to a spider’s capacity for web-weaving. Not that I’m a spider, and I’m not about to go on a rant here about the dangers of smoking marijuana as I believe in having a choice about the matter. I can only speak of and go on my own experience. I do [...]

I guess I should start by introducing myself.  I’m not going to tell you my real name at this point in time, but I have been given a few choices with regards to a label for my symptoms: ’schizophrenia’, ‘bipolar disorder’ or ’schizo-affective disorder’.  The most accurate is probably the latter.
During my lifetime (I’m currently [...]